Tuesday, September 2, 2014


it was an empty hall, i walk pass the benches into a corner. I could feel the sharpness of the benches as my finger tips touched them while I passed each bench. My head was down, my eyes were wet. I could never raised my head in shyness but now I don't want to. I went to the right corner of the bench and I sat. I sat as I waited, thoughts started to gather in my mind of what was about to happen. Something, I wished had never started... I knew the outcomes I knew what was about to end... I knew it will be gone forever. deep in my heart I knew everything... amidst of all these thoughts, suddenly the door was bang opened... and I spooked with fear... 

The door banged open and i was spooked in fear. Fear sent shivers down my spine and I could just hear nothing but my heartbeat. It was pounding and I could feel the blood rushing through the veins. Everything around me came to halt. I could not had the courage to look up and see though I knew what was coming towards me. My elbows were sitting tight on my knees, my hand cover my ears. I didn't wish to hear that voice; the voice that trembles and haunts me even in my dreams. This time it was more then one person, as I could hear several footsteps approaching towards me. It made me even more tensed. I could also hear their whispering. I wanted to stand on my feet and run and run far as far as I could. But I never could. At last, I felt a hand on my shoulder ... as I turned back .  

 I surrender myself to my fear. There's more lightening but my feeling of helplessness was all I could felt as if my soul was gradually being wearing out of my body... The words were naturally went out of my mind my heart my mouth.. I did nt knew where I belong and what was happening didnt belong to me. I have been through this before and some thing hard to bear was about to happen in my life something i could never bear something i could repent. Tragedy always bring radical change in lives and this tragedy changed everything changed me changed everything associated with it. I lost my self and i lose every bit of me that once was mine. .. That once was mine... In theory every loss is for our good; in practice though that is when we ask question... Ask ourselves about the existence of God ... And ask ourselves what did i do to deserve this? ...

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